Tips for girls

You have the right of decision over your body
Your body is unique and precious and you can be proud of it. You alone decide over your body and you have the right to determine how, when, where and by whom you want to be touched. This is equally valid for cuddling and having sex with persons of your age.

Your feelings are important
Your feelings tell you if something is okay for you or not. Take them seriously and trust them. There are pleasant and unpleasant feelings. Unpleasant or strange feelings show you that something is going wrong and is not right for you. Talk about your feelings, even if these feelings are difficult. Express your feelings, even if you think that a girl should not have such feelings.

There is pleasant and unpleasant physical contact
There is physical contact which feels pleasant and nice. However, there is physical contact which is unpleasant, which hurts or scares you. You are allowed to refuse such contacts. No adult has the right to put his/her hands under your clothes and to touch your vagina, your bottom or your breasts. Maybe he/she demands to be touched in a way you do not want. He/she is not allowed to, even if you know him/her and like him/her.

You have the right to say no
There are situations in which you feel that you do not want to do something. You have the right to say NO, because you have the right that your personal borders be respected. This is even truer when it is about you, about your body or your intimacy. Girls sometimes find it more difficult to say NO, because they have been taught to be nice and obedient. You are allowed to defend yourself, with everything at your disposal. Together with others, think about the situations where it is better not to obey.

There are good and bad secrets
There are secrets which make you happy and excited, for e.g. if you want to surprise your girlfriend with a present. Bad secrets make you feel depressed and worried, they feel heavy and scary. A perpetrator often tries to prevent his victim to confide in someone and forces the victim to keep the secret. These secrets you should absolutely talk about, even if you have promised not to. This has nothing to do with sneaking or breaking the trust.

Talk about it and search for help
If you are worried about something or if you have had a bad experience, search for someone or trust and talk about it. Think about the persons you can and want to talk to about these difficult subjects. This can be a start to find help. Sometimes, you have to talk to more than one person, before one of them believes you and is willing to help. Do not lose courage. You have a right to be supported, even if you have not searched for help for a long time, for the sake of the perpetrator or because you were ashamed.

It is not your fault
It is not your fault, if you have or had this experience of being sexually abused or not respected with your personal borders. It does not matter whether you tried to defend yourself or not. The perpetrator often will argue the contrary, but he only is responsible for what he did to you.